A visual story of what happens when my friends and I get together:
1-3. Life is good. The sun is up and there is a nice enough breeze that even I, Hailey the Schumacher Vampire can survive a trip outdoors. I take my buddies out to my secret spot where we see deer and dip our feet at an old diving spot in my town tucked away in the woods.
4. The sun sets and the booze comes out to play. As a former Girl Scout, my motto is to always be prepared.
5. A lot of things have actually happened since the last photo, but usually I wake up and skip right to this phase.
Last night, the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York hosted the 2013 Met Gala. This year’s theme was “Punk: From Chaos To Couture.” For many celebrities, this was the first time they had used the word “punk” in a sentence that wasn’t “Have my assistant get me Daft Punk tickets.” It was also an excuse for them to spend $10,000 to spike their hair up and play punk dress up for a night. When interviewed, they all sounded like total shitheads talking out of their asses. Here’s what some of them had to say in these actual quotes from the red carpet…